Check-in Week Eight and Nine

Before I commence my check-in, I'd like to explain that I slammed the two weeks together. Week eight is about strength and week nine is about compassion. Specifically, it's about having compassion for yourself for wasting your time/life not doing your art. This really doesn't apply to me. I have been working my tail off since I was 13. I don't feel anything when I read the chapter or read the tasks appointed for it. I took some time off because I was sick and I don't feel any guilt over it - so we're just going to move on. I'm sure Julia Cameron would support my decision. Though she might not be particularly happy with me rocketing through the course at this speed - I feel it's what's best for me. I'm even going to be sad when this is over and we only have three weeks left. So, here we go with the check-in.

1. I did my morning pages five out of seven days. I skipped because of the Sabbath and because I was getting up to live a dream - which I'm sure Julia would approve of. That whole day was swallowed up in loveliness, so it's okay. And yeah - I have been tempted to stop doing them. Sometimes I'm in a hurry to get on with my day. But I think I should continue to do them because they're helping me focus on what I really want to do. That way I'm open to suggestions, but not stupid ones. Sometimes my brain devises incredibly stupid ways to waste my time, but if I write out at the beginning of the day what I really want from it - it's more likely to get done. I don't have such a hard time working on my art, but I do have a hard time getting laundry folded and put away, so the morning pages are bringing me into the present.

2. Yes. I went out and bought flowers for my front yard. Then I planted them under the full moon because I couldn't find the time to do it during daylight. Planting flowers at night is weird. It got really dark and I had to turn on my Narnia lamp. Plus, the people across the street were thumping music from the speakers of their car as they all piled in to go to the bar. When they left I started jumping at every sound. I haven't been outside at night by myself in years.

3. I've said it before. Everything is falling into place. Mwhahahahaha. Now if only my book could get accepted for publication.

The Ninth Week.

1. You know, I can't think of any major creative U-turns that I've suffered from. I can't think of anything that's making me cry inside because I didn't do it. And that's not me being in denial. I've seldom had an opportunity that I haven't taken advantage of. The only thing I can think of is that I didn't take a collection of university writing courses that were recommended to me, but you know what? I think those bastards would have just ripped my guts out for a sadistic ego boost. I don't need university students or professors to like what I write. I think those courses would have murdered my artist child and I would have spent the rest of my life making oatmeal cookies from the same recipe. Because the core idea of the course was to read your writing aloud to a collection of students. YUCK! And I did send my book in to a publisher as soon as I felt I was ready.

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4. The only other issue I can think of that's important to my recovery is that I finally have an author friend. I have never had an author friend before. I have known four other women who wrote books. Here's the deal with each of them. The first two have been women who I knew wrote novels. They knew I wrote novels and we never switched manuscripts and asked for suggestions or support. The next one is a friend of a friend who writes very badly. Grammar? Crap. Characters? Crap. Plot? Crap. There were so many errors it would take a remarkable amount of sensitivity and tact not to kill her with them. And who wants to do that? So, I didn't say anything. She'll have to figure it out on her own. Last one - her taste is so different from mine that it's not even worth the trouble. I'm trying to write black lace and she's trying to write divinity fudge.

Anyway, I finally have a friend with a similar streak. She's now given me her second novel to look over and I love it. She's read four of my books now too and she's given me pointers on how to improve without making me feel like a dolt. There's appropriate criticism for you. So, there's the beginnings of a sacred circle of artistic friends.